SCREW THE DOCTOR, GET ME A SURGEON ... THIS SHOW's GOT NO PULSE!

Am I the only person on planet Earth who thinks that the third series of the newly invented Doctor Who has not only lost the plot, but its fun, its buzz, and its smart dramatic edge?

Let’s take a trip in the TARDIS back to the heady days of 2005. Ecclestone and Piper. Triumph. A few misses (farting Slitheens anyone?) among a series of hits (Dalek Emperor, Captain Jack, new Police Box interior, fresh ideas, brilliant writing … etc).

Right-ho, let’s push forward 12 months to Spring 2006. Surely this fresh-faced new doctor couldn’t replicate the same success? Christ on a bike, he can. Again, some class dunces (Fear Her, New Earth) among a crop of bright young stars (Tooth and Claw, Satan Pit, Girl in the Fireplace), but generally incredible. They’ve managed to do what is officially known at Geek Towers as “Double Bubble”. Rock on. There’s no stopping this newly risen beast of Saturday night TV.

Roll on 2007 and series three. How can it be anything but top dollar team time wonderment? I mean, Tennant’s in his stride, Russell T seems to be editing himself better than before, the directors are getting harder, slicker and faster.

But, at the pinnacle of potential success, something’s gone wrong. All the elements that have made new Who great seem to have been discarded and left to burn on a distant, dying world. Who has become the biggest prime-time waste-of-time since Noel Edmonds House Party. In fact, the poor scripting, ropey acting and lazy direction now bears more than a passing resemblance to the programme commissioned to fill the Doctor’s shoes while on hiatus – Robin “I look about 12 but have fought in the Crusades, honest” Hood.

It’s official: Series three of Doctor Who has gone beige. It’s just dull. Save for Gareth Robert’s The Shakespeare Code (the series’ only saving grace so far), the Doctor seems to be trapped in a parallel universe where epic ideas are poorly realised, and the script editor died during the Christmas Special (which, apart from the TARDIS chase, was pretty dull too). Last Week’s Daleks in Manhattan was a real let down. A fabulously enticing title which promised full-on 20th century razzmatazz fell over its coat tails and flat onto its face. The slow pace, poor accents and small-town feel (which made the Big Apple feel more like a miniature satsuma) meant I just didn’t care.

David Tennant is working hard to keep the show together without Billie as back up, but his laces are tied without the support of a decent behind the cameras crew giving the show the essential injection of realism, empathy and energy as he travels within this fantastic world of fantasy worlds.

On the plus side, Freema is giving her all as Martha Jones (though the jury’s still out), and we still have some great potential in the wings. Part two of the present Dalek adventure will hopefully lift the spirits, and with star turns from Mark Gattiss and John Simm still to come – as well as a Stephen Moffat episode ahead – the Doctor’s future in series three could be spectacular … so long as the Cardiff crew remember the fundamentals that made new Who great in the first place.