TOUCHDOWN

The ipod Touch is expected to land at Apple stores tomorrow. Although a small number of units (mainly 8gb) unexpectedly appeared across the brand’s retail network a week ago (and instantly sold out), the official shipping date is today. Calls to the flagship Regent Street store and the Kingston Upon Thames shop both confirmed that they are expecting a mysterious delivery tomorrow at 9am. However, until they open the box, staff haven’t got a clue what they’re receiving. “How exciting,” I said to Gerant, the Apple man on the end of the phone at the Regent Street branch. Poor Gerant didn’t sound quite as excited as I was, but then I expect he’s been answering calls all day about whether they’ve got any Touches in stock, poor lad. PC World also took out adverts in today’s national newspapers, shouting about the fact that they will have a limited stock available in certain stores tomorrow morning … but only enough for the first 20 in each shop. Fans who pre-ordered on Apple’s on-line UK store however, are feeling more than a little miffed. While the shipping date has remained at a constant September 28th, the delivery date has slipped 7 days, from 2nd October to 9th. Explanation? We didn’t expect the demand we’ve received. Right. That international press launch that received obscene amounts of media attention three weeks ago didn’t give any hints. Naughty Apple, bad Apple.

HAYLEY'S VOMIT

At my work Christmas lunch last year, some filthy wretches moved the jovial seasonal conversation onto filthy sex talk. The subject of "Space Docking" came up. It's a bizarre niche sex-act that even this Geek cannot fathom. If you want to know what it is, post a comment below and I'll mail back a hint. If you do know what it is, you'll understand why it makes me want to vom, just like the locals in the small Peruvian village of Carancas who had a close encounter of the turd kind, when a suspected meteorite plumeted to earth causing vomiting, nausea, diarroeah ... and a 20ft-deep crater. Stunned villagers visited the scene of the space-rock fall only to end up spewing on their moon boots. Government scientists are on their way to varify exactly what fell to earth, and geologists have called for local authorities to stop people visiting the site. It is believed that intergalactic gasses eminating from the 100ft-wide crater are causing the sickness.

O2 NIBBLE ON THE APPLE AND FIND A FALLEN ANGEL ... WELCOME TO THE £900 IPOD

Today, after months of speculation, rumour, hot air and "no comments" from those involved (and otherwise), the iPhone was officially penned to reach these shores on November 9th with the cheapest model priced at a "bargain" 899GBP (including an 18-month contract from Spanish mobile operator O-No!). Whatever. I've already ordered my iPod Touch. It arrives on October 2nd, cost me about a quarter of that and has twice as much memory. Add a drop of Starbucks skinny-wet WiFi (no sprinkles), plus iTunes on the move, and I think I've just found mp3eden.

There are plenty of smart webwords out there about today's iPhone launch. Check these out..

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7001203.stm
http://technology.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/tech_and_web/article2482178.ece
http://www.betanews.com/article/The_UK_iPhone_O2s_Costly_Investment/1190044722
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/technology/2007/09/18/live_from_the_apple_announcement_london.html (check out the great "live" Q&A on Bobbie Johnson's blog)

YOU WON'T CHANGE THE CHILDREN OF THE (INTERNET) REVOLUTION

Today is the anniversary of Marc Bolan's untimely death. Hence the apt headline. Anyway, while this post is about looking back, it's also about knowing when it's time to move on. So, children, settle down, drink your milk and listen up.

True story ... The wife and I were shamed by our three-year-old niece last week, when, infront of her, we were asked what a transformer was. “It’s a robot in disguise,” we both answered with utter sincerity. “Oh,” said the toddler, “I thought it was something to do with electricity”. We looked at each other startled, and thus, a single conversation highlighted just how influenced us 21st century 30-somethings were by the 1980s entertainment moguls. Today’s rising captains of industry are also the generation that nostalgia kidnapped, trussed-up and threw in the boot of its car (a Ford Capri, of course), at an age when they were still buying the acne cream. While being fixated on Lando's 'tache and cape, we were raised on a diet of Manimal, TJ Hooker, The Littlest Hobo, My Little Pony (skinny and boney), The Fall Guy, Terrahawks, Thundercats, He-Man, Granstand then Dr Who, The Goonies, Supergran and Gummidge. And it's a heritage that manifests itself in our lives every day. From sharing common childhood experiences on Facebook to buying up retro car boot junk on eBay (the exact same stuff your mum coldly sold during your first term away at Uni), we creep steadily forward within our fourth decade as wide-eyed children cocooned in adult bodies. And the influx of cheap "100 Greatest TV moments" shows aren't helping us grow up. From T-shirts to trainers, magazines to DVD's, you'll find most 30+ year-olds are nursing a serious bout of Dusty Binfluenza. We're entertaining modern life while refusing to let go of our halcyon days. That’s why, one drunken evening, a pal – Stuart “The Loofa” Kerr – posed an intriguing question that captured the attention of surrounding friends (fully grown men and women whose brains are sitting somewhere east of Fraggle Rock: What would be your ultimate Transformer? Legend that he is, Loofa came up with a corker: A leopard that turns into Kylie’s bum. Mattel ... any chance?

SAUCY APPLE REVEAL THEIR STROKE OF GENIUS

As bitch-tits lady-haired rocker Meatloaf never sang: "two out of four aint bad". Last night's post promised a wonderland of intuitive, interactive, functional, feature-packed and foam-inducing iPods. As usual the DG didnt fail to deliver.

So, this afternoon (UK-time) the "Jobs with the Toys" laid out his stall:

* He got ringtones for his iPhones ... whatever
* He got Nanos .... they've got video on 'em, but I've got fingers like a donkey's fifth leg so, hey, I'll pass
* He whacking a beef injection into my iPod (a pocket-rocketing 160gig!) and re-naming the faithful beast as "iPod classic" ... still to this day ahead of its time, but now resigned to history ... poetic

Then it happens. I hear a drum beat. It echoes in my head. The 21st century comes to life in a way that Marty McFly could only dream of. 88 miles an hour? Screw you McFly, where we're going, we don't need scroll-wheels.

My iPod's just gone full-screen. Where my finger used to get dizzy going round-and-round like a kid on a fibre-glass grinning horse, I've now got finger "Tr-action Force" TM (that's mine, I've patented it ... screw you InfoSync). I got Wi-Fi, I got wirefree iTunes downloads, I got an album-art caoursel, I got mini-Mac OSX ... all in a silver sliver the size of - and as cool as - a 1930's cigarello case, and with no mobile contract handcuffs. In multimedia consumption-terms, this is a cultural gear shift akin to the communications evolution that saw the telegram phased out in favour of the home phone, the letter scurnched up in favour of the email, the simple conversation replaced by the text message. It's an incredible - not unexpected, but incredible and welcome - step-change in the way we will consume media on the move.

All this is a hugely canny business play by Apple. Just three months ago, Jobs - resplendent in black polo-neck and trousers-to-match (looking like he could either serve you up a skinny wet latte, or lay out a roadmap for the future of the broadcast, music and computing industry), announced a multi-million dollar "exclusive" deal with AT&T for the iPhone, which not only included a whopping up-front payment, but a revenue-share snatch too. Then followed reports (signed, though still officially un-confirmed) of three European operators (across three seperate countries - UK, France and Germany) keen to retain (or boost) their credibility (and potentially also lift non-iphone sales with the Apple "halo" effect while they're at it) who hurridly wrote cheques for millions of notes made out to Mr S Jobs and Co, in order to bag his little bag of tricks. But now AT&T are already battling the hackers in vain (completely unlocked - ie SIM free - iphones are going for between 460 and 650gbp on Ebay ... one master hacker - all of 20-odd years old - has even been given a job by one of AT&T's rivals as a strategic consultant). The Euro operators will have the same fight on their hands ... only now it'll be an even tougher business nut to crack, what with the challenge of, er, itself (sans phone) on the market.

With tidy multi-million dollar and euro deals all sown up with the US and European mobile operators, Apple have delivered their "hah-hah jack-in-the-box strategy" to ensure the whole world (not just customers of certain mobile operators) can start stroking their screens. The 21st century iPod generation will not just consist of die-hard Apple-ites who'd follow Jobs over the cliff screaming i'll switch my network for you Stevieeeeeeee ... thud'.

Apple have played the network operators for a blinder. Good luck to those who wrote the cheques.

POD-U-LIKE

Check it out! Finger's on pulses (before moving swiftly to your glowing new touchscreen iPods) ... Team Apple clearly read the Daily Geek. remember our post back in January (that's a whole NINE months ago ... that's enought to make a baby, and I should know ... I've got three!)? Of course you do: "I want an iPhone ... just without the phone". Well it clearly made its presence felt in the badlands of CA. Watch this space for the DG's unabashed thoughts on God's MP3 of choice (FYI - the nano pictured aint it, don't worry ... you get a full screen, you can stroke it, calm down). Anyway, now they're all at it. Norwiegian web-slags InfoSync are even hard at work word-burgaling the DG! Check this out: "iPod Touch is an iPhone without the phone" (posted 40 minutes ago while some of us were still working for a living ... http://www.infosyncworld.com/news/n/8276.html ). Welcome to my Christmas list buddy! Crikey, if I could afford a lawyer ...

APPLE FAMILY TREE BLOSOMS

UK Journalists and VIPS will be heading to BBC TV Centre late tomorrow afternoon to hold a trans-atlantic video audience with Steve Jobs.

Apple’s “Special Events” are always shrouded in mystery. It’s never a done deal what’ll be revealed until the moment of truth (and we’ve been burned before, expecting an iPhone when all we got was that damn pair of speakers!)

However, refusing to accept a none-event, the DG believes that Jobs will unveil the new iPod line-up and some content surprises including:

1. The new full-screen touchscreen ipod (which runs a simple version of OSX and the iTunes coverflow carousel … also rumours flying around suggesting WiFi capabilities and a built-in radio)
2. The Beatles back-catalogue on iTunes
3. BBC content for the newly launched iTunes TV show library
4. iPod “video” Nano

All this is expected to be available across both sides of the pond before Christmas. Rumours of the iPhone Nano, according to the DG, are just that … rumours.

Watch this space at 6pm GMT.